Recently my boss Steve and I had a conversation about our fathers and the tremendous influence they had on us. We both commented on letters we had received from them and how important they were to us. I got only a handful of letters from my dad (my mother wrote to me weekly for years and oh how I wish I’d saved them) but the letters from my dad are saved and a couple of them are engraved on my heart – especially the one he wrote the week I left for college and the one he wrote during my sophomore year when my grades were certainly not up to par and he wanted to alert me to the fact that we would have a private heart-to-heart talk about his intent to continue financing my education if I wasn’t going to be a willing participant in the outcome. Needless to say, after that talk, my grades improved but I never forgot the impact of that letter!
During our conversation, Steve recommended a book called “Posterity: Letters of Famous Americans to Their Children” and it’s a fascinating read. Letters give such an intimate insight into relationships and what makes this book especially enjoyable is that not only are they grouped by like subject matter but each section is chronological from the earliest to the most recent. Not only can I see how writing styles changed from the days of John Adams in the late 1700s to John Steinbeck in mid-20th century but the topics of importance changed too.
I’m not sure if I’ve written anything my daughters or granddaughters will ever save for posterity but I mourn that the art of letter writing is becoming lost. There’s something so comforting about holding a letter in hand – especially one that was written long ago by someone who is no longer living – and knowing that that person took the time to take pen in hand and put their thoughts on paper. Somehow I doubt future generations will feel quite the emotion to a text message or email!
Many years ago when my mother died, I discovered a box of letters my father had written to her. When I picked up the first one I felt like an intruder into their relationship but then I realized I was holding my heritage – so I copied them and had them bound into books for my daughters, my nephew and me. It’s our own family living history – the story of my parents from 1937 when they met until 1997, the year they both died. And yes, I still have the original letters in the original envelopes to be passed down to the next generations someday.
I think letter writing is something women are more prone to do as it is an extension of their thoughts and feelings. Men don’t normally express them like women do. I received one letter from Keck and knew, the minute it arrived, he had something important to say. I still have that letter. My dad hasn’t written much to me, but I’ve saved the few thank you notes and the song he wrote.
It is too bad the art of letter writing is becoming obsolete. Thank yous, invitations and notes just aren’t the same in email form. May the art never completely die.