Writing about my great-nephews yesterday made me think even more about my sister Susie who left us 11 years ago today. Susie was 5 years older than me so I surpassed her time on earth a few years back – thus she remains in my mind wrinkle-free with no gray hairs, perpetually in a swim suit at her lake home with a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other holding court in her most gregarious fashion. My friends (and hubby) who never met her will find it hard to believe she was the extrovert of the two of us but she was – always ready for a social gathering and a good time and yet I remember plenty of summer evenings on the porch of her lake home when the two of us sat next to each other and read.
She succumbed to a quick bout of cancer that I really didn’t see coming until the end – regardless of what my intellect told me, my emotions wouldn’t allow me to believe she really could die until just a few weeks before she did. She was always a big part of my life – bossing me around as a little kid, telling me how far superior she was intelligently (she lovingly called me Smart Ass and I called her Dumb Bunny), providing me with plenty of opportunities to prove how annoying a little sister really can be and then giving me a big brother when she married Riley.
She was annoying, controlling, bossy, my idol, supportive, my mentor, fun, but most of all she loved me and I loved her. Damn I miss her! I still want to call her and tell her stuff – like how wonderful her son turned out and what a great family he has – how I got the granddaughters when she got grandsons – how I finally met a super guy and married him – but more than anything I would tell her more often how important she was and that I loved her.
So here’s to you Susie – you gave life one great ride and I sure do miss you.
I still think of the last time I saw Susie on Mother’s Day weekend the spring before she died. I don’t think any of us knew about the cancer then. She took me aside and told me (in her closed-mouthed Susie voice) that she loved me and was thinking of me. I was going through a divorce at the time. She never met Steve, but I think they would have really liked each other.
I miss the stops at the lake, the endless bar options, Christmas at their house on Schultze street, and the outspoken way she loved us all.
I know she would have loved Steve and Burl both because I think they would have come right back at her with her zingers! Most people didn’t realize what a softie she was under her hard persona. To me the best example of that is one of my favorite Christmas memories on Schultze Street – after everyone had opened their gifts and she said she didn’t get what she really wanted – a dog. I think Riley had given her something like diamond earrings and all she wanted was another Max.
I remember that Mother’s Day so well – and having lunch at the Lodge of the 4 Seasons. She didn’t find out about the cancer until her surgery on July 8th that year – their wedding anniversary. I’m so glad you have that great memory of her and our wonderful day together.
“Damn I miss her! I still want to call her and tell her stuff – like how wonderful…”
Have a little faith, she knows, and is probably smiling right back at you.